The Situation of Being a Good Friend

Shocking Revelation: Honesty might just be the best policy.
The Story:  A few months ago (like in May) I was crushing hard on one of my better guy friends(I had previously had a relationship with him a couple of years ago), but the fear of rejection stood in my way of revealing my feelings. Feeling out of his league, I sat my self down on the bench of cowardice where I was able to admire from a distance. I made the mistake of biding my time until someone else came along with a bigger pair of balls than I. That person just so happened to be one of my best friends (no one from my school). Being the amazing friend that I am, I took a step aside and told her I was cool with it. Truth was, I was anything but cool with it. And satirically enough I was the person she came to for advice on the flirtationship that arose from the two. Call me Oprah. While I am texting my mom and the occasional loser that tries to hangout with me -(in this sentence I am talking about the guys I talk to, not my friend)-, she is talking to that guy. That guy who is sweet, that guy who is caring, that guy who I f-ing liked first.
I guess my predicament is no ones fault except my own, if I had not been such a p*ssy maybe things would've worked out differently. Being a slave to my own internal devices was a mega problem. I need to bust free of the hold my fear of rejection places on me and actually take a chance with life.

PS_This has nothing to do with any of my 'friends' at my school, and by the way If you would assume I was hating on you before asking me about it than you obviously weren't much of a friend in the first place. And thanks for the unnecessary drama, you made me lose two friends but gain about two hundred page views,

Lovely Midday Ramblings