As a 17 year-old girl, who is a junior, who is getting ready for my first prom, I was needin' a date as well as freakin' the fuck out. My first date I had in line was the cretin from the previous post.
I'll play a little catch up on that sitch. The day after the party everything was fine, he seemed totally cool when we went back to get my clothes and my hopes were up, maybe I hadn't made too much of an ass of myself the night before... I waited and waited for a text... desperate much, I know, but I'm not afraid to admit it. Girl's gotta dream.
Still zilch from Mr. Adorable Redneck. Then approx two days later I pulled into the gas station I always go to and guess who just happened to be there??? You Know Who. In his little ford ranger. WTF was I supposed to do? I acted like I didn't see him for a few minutes and then when I caught him giving my car the up and down, I smiled and waved. He waved back. That's the last time I ever communicated with the ass munch.
Side note: It's totes cool to just hook up in my opinion. Absolutely ay-okay. But just ya know, fuckin' tell me that. Don't drag on the bullshit. Don't put your arm around me in the movie theater, tell me all about your mommy and daddy issues, ask me everything about me, do the whole kiss goodnight thing and get me to fucking like you just to do that shit. NOT COOL. I'm one of those people that don't really let a lot of people get that close and when I do you're fuckin' lucky. And just to pull that shit... It's a pain in my ass. Makes me hate people even more.
Moreover, prom was approaching swift and steady and I still had no date. And my naggy friend with a boyfriend would not get off my back about it. I finally did some digging of my own and cyber hacked my way into getting my other "anti-prom friend" (same friend I took to the party from last post) to go to prom with my group. The hot-bearded guy she was makingout with at the party was more than down to crash our prom. He even ditched out on some other girl to go with my friend. So hear she is, all anti-prom with a hot date at the ready. Fuck, I couldn't even beg for a date. Lucky bitch.
My dress was full out Cinderella, fluff and all. I had so much money riding on this one night it was ridiculous.
I had been hanging out with my friend, lets call her Kat and her boyfriend Chit like everyday. I was the perfect third wheel. It was never awkward. Finally one day Chit thought he found me a prom date... Two problems, he had a girlfriend (not my problem, I just wanted him for prom pictures) and he couldn't grow hair (okay, kinda looks like Mr. Clean). But I was cool with it. The plan was to go as friends and just have a PG rated good time as a group.
Mr. Clean dropped out like a week away from prom. I had already bought his ticket and everything. God dammit. Apparently he was only going because him and his girlfriend were fighting. Tool-tastic.
In a rush, My friend Ashley put her older brother up to the task of being my date. What a brave soul, the rest had dropped like flies.
We got Thomas fitted for his suit and ready to go.
The day before prom, everything was falling into place, Kat and I got our pimped out prom ride all spick and span. And then it was time for a sleep over at my house. The parents went for a night at a casino so it was party time. Kat, Chit and I mobbed through my small town, misplacing traffic cones, strutting through the adult shop, and just raising hell (a very small, sober hell). That was one of the funnest nights I've ever had. I was even getting over my cold or so I thought.
Showing posts with label Awkward.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Awkward.. Show all posts
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
HO-F*cking-HO
Ya know, I haven't updated my blog recently because my life has been relatively boring and the only drama I've had to deal with is within my family (which is incredibly annoying and exasperating to talk about if you know my ridiculous parents). Now that the school year has progressed that has begun to change.
My life is like an episode of Awkward. except my Matty McKibben doesn't exactly falls head over heels in love with me. He does the whole secret flirtationship thing pretty well but that ended after a brief stint with in the closet and me going mediocre-publicity about the whole ordeal. And now he is acting as if I don't exist. Awesome. Great. Fan-f*uckin-tastic.
In real life there is no such thing as a real Matty. All we have is the Douche-Bag McKibbens. The guys that get all celebutarded due to the fact that they are hot and on Varsity every-f*ckin'-thing. Well get this pal, you might think you're hot shit now but wait until you're out of high school and trying to actually get a job. "Swag doesn't pay the bills." But selling crack probably does.
End of my post-apocalypto rant. Now on to bigger and brighter things, such as my hilarious facebook comment from the other day.
This girl that's kind of a notorious figure at my high school, posted a status that said: You put the F in fake.
So as the witty person that I am, I was the first to comment with: You put the AKE.
I thought it was pretty funny but apparently she did not. She immediately deleted the comment without even giving me a b*tchy reply. I was kinda let down. I can't even cause drama if I wanted too.
I really hope my main b*tch Karsten reads this, she's pretty much just as funny as I am.
My life is like an episode of Awkward. except my Matty McKibben doesn't exactly falls head over heels in love with me. He does the whole secret flirtationship thing pretty well but that ended after a brief stint with in the closet and me going mediocre-publicity about the whole ordeal. And now he is acting as if I don't exist. Awesome. Great. Fan-f*uckin-tastic.
In real life there is no such thing as a real Matty. All we have is the Douche-Bag McKibbens. The guys that get all celebutarded due to the fact that they are hot and on Varsity every-f*ckin'-thing. Well get this pal, you might think you're hot shit now but wait until you're out of high school and trying to actually get a job. "Swag doesn't pay the bills." But selling crack probably does.
End of my post-apocalypto rant. Now on to bigger and brighter things, such as my hilarious facebook comment from the other day.
This girl that's kind of a notorious figure at my high school, posted a status that said: You put the F in fake.
So as the witty person that I am, I was the first to comment with: You put the AKE.
I thought it was pretty funny but apparently she did not. She immediately deleted the comment without even giving me a b*tchy reply. I was kinda let down. I can't even cause drama if I wanted too.
I really hope my main b*tch Karsten reads this, she's pretty much just as funny as I am.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Awkward.
Oh, Awkward, how you make me fall in love with you over and over again. In the new episode, everything hit me just right. Especially the part at the end when Sadie accused Matty of sabotaging Jake and Jenna's relationship and at first he said he wasn't then he turned around and gave a sneaky lil smile. Fireworks exploded in my heart <3. I also got a little teary when Lacey (Jenna's mom) told Jenna that her dad left and it wasn't for just a while. I am stoked for next weeks, cuzzz it's gonna be fantastic... Jenna's goin' to church camp!!
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Dazed and Confused
My absence is inexcusable but these last two days have majorly sucked a**. I won't go into details as to why, not that I don't trust my normal readers, it's the snoops I'm trying to avoid.
Thursday was probably the worst. After a horrible day I came home and thought that the new episode of Awkward could take me away. Unfortunately it did not. Something needs to happen between Jenna and Matty pronto or my patience is going to be up. And is any body else weirded out by the fact that whatever wait Sadie lost, Jenna gained? I know the show is kinda about your self image but if I had my own TV show I would try to lose weight, not pack it on. I still hope this season picks up because I love the show so much.
On another note, I now can completely sympathize with Jenna about being Anne Franked by a guy you really like. Thats kinda why my fifth of July was so majorly horrible.
Thursday was probably the worst. After a horrible day I came home and thought that the new episode of Awkward could take me away. Unfortunately it did not. Something needs to happen between Jenna and Matty pronto or my patience is going to be up. And is any body else weirded out by the fact that whatever wait Sadie lost, Jenna gained? I know the show is kinda about your self image but if I had my own TV show I would try to lose weight, not pack it on. I still hope this season picks up because I love the show so much.
On another note, I now can completely sympathize with Jenna about being Anne Franked by a guy you really like. Thats kinda why my fifth of July was so majorly horrible.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Top Ten of the Week
Just a fore warning, this Top Ten might be a little bias because of the affinity I'm having for Awkward. at the moment.
10) PedoPhiles of the Facebook variety: My account on Facebook was set up so you could still message me without being my friend. That quickly changed once this creeper started messaging me a couple hours ago. But don't worry! PedoBear has been blocked and reported. It's a bit hard to pull off saying you are 17 with a profile pic that suggests otherwise (cough cough). Creepahh!
9) After starting my job, I have realized that I had not touched a variety of substances in my life, also realized I do not want to. Food feels disgusting when it's all mixed together in the bottom of a sink. It's like touching puke without the bodily fluids.
8) Big Feet=Big Problems: Ranging from a 9.5- an 11 is great challenge nowadays because larger sized shows are harder to come by. Seriously Macy's, how much business do you think you are going to get only having up to size nine. I know at least a third of my friends have my size or larger feet.
7) Weather: I'm not gonna b*tch about Oregon's weather because thats what everyone else is doing right now (when have I ever gone with the crowd). I'm gonna take a moment out of my day and just be thankful it's not snowing. I'm down with the rainin. Just tired of the complainin. Get used to it. or get a poncho.
6) The Fourth: Fireworks and BBQ!! I think I might skip the whole rodeo situation this year. I've went the last two years and it was nothing but boy drama. Being tired of the losers and other cretins that roam the rodeo grounds, is probably a good thing for this girl. Hey, I enjoy being single. I'm waiting for my Matty.
5) Magnetic Nail Polish: Really Coool!!! It's this polish that you paint on and then hold this magnet over for ten seconds and it creates these really trippy waves of color.
4) This is where I would talk about how excited I am for Magic Mike. But I've been going off about it for the past year so I'm pretty sure everyone is already tired of my male stripper babble. But YUM.
3) Clear Hair Products: I can't stop smelling my hair. It smells beyond fantastic to the ninth degree. Really floral not too creamy like most shampee+conditioner sets are these days. and OMG the smell has lasted all day long.
2) Matty McKibben: Played by Beau Mirchoff, he is perfection in human form. My favorite scene from him tonight was when he was asking for another chance with Jenna. I'm in love. His eyes show so much emotion, sometimes they are what does his acting for him. His smile has the ability to knock you off your feet. Amazing.
1) AWKWARD. : Really? I bet you never would've guessed ;). I feel like I'm watching an episode of my life every time I watch the show. Everything is just so real and the characters are three dimensional. The plot has substance. If I could be the one to hand out the Emmy's, Awkward would get like fifty-thousand of them. I'm obsessed and I know you are tired of hearing it but thats the way it is.
10) PedoPhiles of the Facebook variety: My account on Facebook was set up so you could still message me without being my friend. That quickly changed once this creeper started messaging me a couple hours ago. But don't worry! PedoBear has been blocked and reported. It's a bit hard to pull off saying you are 17 with a profile pic that suggests otherwise (cough cough). Creepahh!
9) After starting my job, I have realized that I had not touched a variety of substances in my life, also realized I do not want to. Food feels disgusting when it's all mixed together in the bottom of a sink. It's like touching puke without the bodily fluids.
8) Big Feet=Big Problems: Ranging from a 9.5- an 11 is great challenge nowadays because larger sized shows are harder to come by. Seriously Macy's, how much business do you think you are going to get only having up to size nine. I know at least a third of my friends have my size or larger feet.
7) Weather: I'm not gonna b*tch about Oregon's weather because thats what everyone else is doing right now (when have I ever gone with the crowd). I'm gonna take a moment out of my day and just be thankful it's not snowing. I'm down with the rainin. Just tired of the complainin. Get used to it. or get a poncho.
6) The Fourth: Fireworks and BBQ!! I think I might skip the whole rodeo situation this year. I've went the last two years and it was nothing but boy drama. Being tired of the losers and other cretins that roam the rodeo grounds, is probably a good thing for this girl. Hey, I enjoy being single. I'm waiting for my Matty.
5) Magnetic Nail Polish: Really Coool!!! It's this polish that you paint on and then hold this magnet over for ten seconds and it creates these really trippy waves of color.
4) This is where I would talk about how excited I am for Magic Mike. But I've been going off about it for the past year so I'm pretty sure everyone is already tired of my male stripper babble. But YUM.
3) Clear Hair Products: I can't stop smelling my hair. It smells beyond fantastic to the ninth degree. Really floral not too creamy like most shampee+conditioner sets are these days. and OMG the smell has lasted all day long.
2) Matty McKibben: Played by Beau Mirchoff, he is perfection in human form. My favorite scene from him tonight was when he was asking for another chance with Jenna. I'm in love. His eyes show so much emotion, sometimes they are what does his acting for him. His smile has the ability to knock you off your feet. Amazing.
1) AWKWARD. : Really? I bet you never would've guessed ;). I feel like I'm watching an episode of my life every time I watch the show. Everything is just so real and the characters are three dimensional. The plot has substance. If I could be the one to hand out the Emmy's, Awkward would get like fifty-thousand of them. I'm obsessed and I know you are tired of hearing it but thats the way it is.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Rubbed Raw and Reeling
You may've noticed the title to this entry is the same title used in the pilot episode on Awkward. in Jenna's blog. There was a little thought put behind my title choice for tonight. The season premiere of the beloved show did just that, rubbed me raw and left me reeling.
Frustrated as I am, with Jenna's choice and the outcome of last seasons cliffhanger, I still love the show. What can I say? It cracked my hard candy shell and has me oozing with sticky sweet love.
Events you need to be aware of before watching this new epi:
As much as I hate the fact that Jenna chose Jake, I'm still waiting in anticipation for next weeks episode. I'm reeling for more of my Matty. There is no way around loving this show. Jenna is my inspiration to take control of my life and to do things the way I want them to be done. Be bold and make people look, not for the bad but show them that you can exceed their expectations while being who you are. She is the reason I am writing this now. I can't stress this enough!! If you haven't watched this show, head on one to MTV.com and catch an episode or two, you won't regret it, you will be hooked.
Frustrated as I am, with Jenna's choice and the outcome of last seasons cliffhanger, I still love the show. What can I say? It cracked my hard candy shell and has me oozing with sticky sweet love.
Events you need to be aware of before watching this new epi:
- Jenna's mom wrote the carefrontation letter (or so we all think based on solid evidence)
- She chose Jake over Matty at the formal. I'm gonna pulla Tamara and go ahead and Ugly Cry on this one. :.....(
- Outside of the show, Molly Tarlov (ArchNem Sadie) has lost the weight. Great. Now she'll probably just get worse.
- Lissa forgave Jenna and is now trying to be her friend.
- Matty is still irrevocably in love with Jenna. Still Ugly Crying!!! I Love You Matty!!!!
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| The Object of My Affection |
SPOILER ALERT: DON'T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU DON' WANNA KNOW THE DIRTY DEETS!!!
The pluses and the minuses of the episode, "Resolutions", is directly related to how you feel about the show. If you are Team Matty than you will be just as bummed after the show as I am. On the other hand, if blondie is more your style, than you are probably in love with the show right now.
What to look forward to:
- Jake finding out that Matty was the one to give Jenna the Hymen Hammer.
- Uh-Oh!!! The Sanctuary had a security camera up the whole time!! Lots of juice was caught on tape. ;) Maybe some Matty Jenna action too.
- Jenna going to Church camp!!! Haha OMG!!
- And hopefully Matty making an uber bold move to win back Jenna's heart. I'm thinking he should go Heath Ledger status from Ten Things I Hate About You. Marching band, PA system, corny love song, the whole shebang.
As much as I hate the fact that Jenna chose Jake, I'm still waiting in anticipation for next weeks episode. I'm reeling for more of my Matty. There is no way around loving this show. Jenna is my inspiration to take control of my life and to do things the way I want them to be done. Be bold and make people look, not for the bad but show them that you can exceed their expectations while being who you are. She is the reason I am writing this now. I can't stress this enough!! If you haven't watched this show, head on one to MTV.com and catch an episode or two, you won't regret it, you will be hooked.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Awkward is on in less than a week!!
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| Matty McKibben I Love You |
Monday, June 18, 2012
Avoidance is never the answer..
Sorry for my recent absence Dollz, I've been super busy its not even funny. With in the last month or so, I have completed Drivers Ed, got my license (first try, bitches), got a car, finished 10th grade, and got a job at the local pizza place. And on top of that, we now have a pretty kick-ass pool and veggie garden. I am planning to reboot my blogg with full force upon the season premiere of Awkward. complete with a review of the first episode. Maybe even a vlog to boot! Also one of my friends has started a blog on here, Check it out!! http://fantasyisthaareality.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
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