HO-F*cking-HO

Ya know, I haven't updated my blog recently because my life has been relatively boring and the only drama I've had to deal with is within my family (which is incredibly annoying and exasperating to talk about if you know my ridiculous parents). Now that the school year has progressed that has begun to change.
My life is like an episode of Awkward. except my Matty McKibben doesn't exactly falls head over heels in love with me. He does the whole secret flirtationship thing pretty well but that ended after a brief stint with in the closet and me going mediocre-publicity about the whole ordeal. And now he is acting as if I don't exist. Awesome. Great. Fan-f*uckin-tastic.
In real life there is no such thing as a real Matty. All we have is the Douche-Bag McKibbens. The guys that get all celebutarded due to the fact that they are hot and on Varsity every-f*ckin'-thing. Well get this pal, you might think you're hot shit now but wait until you're out of high school and trying to actually get a job. "Swag doesn't pay the bills." But selling crack probably does.

End of my post-apocalypto rant. Now on to bigger and brighter things, such as my hilarious facebook comment from the other day.
This girl that's kind of a notorious figure at my high school, posted a status that said: You put the F in fake.
So as the witty person that I am, I was the first to comment with: You put the AKE.
I thought it was pretty funny but apparently she did not. She immediately deleted the comment without even giving me a b*tchy reply. I was kinda let down. I can't even cause drama if I wanted too.
I really hope my main b*tch Karsten reads this, she's pretty much just as funny as I am.

Alphebetical Truths

‎Alphabetical confessions in blog form? Why not.


[A]vailable: Always... Being single is apparently my curse.
[B]irthday: October 3rd, since 1995 :)
[C]rush: Beau Mirchoff, He's been burnin' my beans for awhile now.
[D]rink I last had: Pepsi (fountain, the best way to have it)
[E]asiest person to talk to: My self... what? I'm always around.
[F]avorite song: We Are Young by Fun.
[G]rade I hate the most: Fifth Grade. It was just awkward and I wore ugh boots with leggings. That should sum it up for you. Oh and those nifty pants that could zip off into capris or shorts. Yeah, I had two pairs...
[H]ometown: Roseburg, BumF*ckNowhere Oregon.
[I]'m in love with: Awkward.[J]ealous of: All those b*tches with boyfriends.
[K]illed someone: I wish.[L]ongest relationship: Brodie. Like ten months. In the eighth grade so I don't know if that even counts.
[M]eanest person in school: She graduated!! So I don't know now!
[N]umber of siblings: One. And that's one too many.
[O]ne wish: I could be Jenna Hamilton from Awkward. I would have cool parents and two adorable guys fawning over me.
[P]erson u last called gay: I can't remember because it was so long ago. I consider that really offensive now and know that it is a word that can hurt a lot of people. 
[Q]uestion your always asked: Do you act like this all the time?
[R]eason to smile: My own jokes. It's not my fault I'm F-ing hilarious.
[S]ong I sung last: Somebody That I Used To Know. Very poorly.
[T]ime I woke up: Like noon.
[U]nwanted by: Lots of people.
[V]ery best friend: Thats too hard. I have lots of friends.
[W]orst habit: Digitizing my every move ;)
[X]-ray last had for: Spine
[Y]our last time u cried: Watching Awkward. two days ago. The dpi where Jenna chose Jake :( Still gets me...
[Z]odiac sign: Libra