Guide to blowing people off

Guide to blowing people off brought to you by yours truly.
In my time, I have had many of my "friends" blow me off, using dumb excuses or I catch them in their lie. So I have decided to help you, my readers, in the art of blowing people off.

By following five simple steps, I can help you avoid detection. And you will never have to hang out with losers again.

Step One: Make your excuse worthy, weddings, funerals, doctors appointments, and trips with the parents are all sure fire excuses.

Step Two: Always break it to them over the phone, sound sincere, apologize, give two to three details and hang the phone up. Don't drag it out, they will just ask more questions.

Step Three: Don't cross paths!! The biggest mistake a person could make, is going to a place where the person you are bailing on might be. Staying home or going out of town is your best options.

Step Four: Do not post pics or status updates on Facebook about what you are actually doing, if you do this, I am sorry there isn't any hope for you. You are a moron. Don't even bother reading the last step.

Step Five: Upon seeing the person again, apologize again and offer to try for another time. Don't set anything up, just say another time.

If the guide doesn't work for you, the person you are trying to fool must be a mindreader or you are trying it on me. That doesn't work either. Dirty Dolla knows whats up.